(For the New Life in Christ)

(Ephesians 4:17-32 & 1 John 1:8-2:2)

Introduction: Problems, problems, problems….This morning's message is all about a problem. It's a problem in the life of every person in this building this morning - I would go so far as to say that this problem will be a part of our lives on an on-going basis for the rest of our lives. 

I don't care if you are young or old, male or female, rich or poor, blue-collar, white-collar or no collar, baby-buster, baby-boomer, or builder generation, Duck or Beaver - this is your problem and mine. It's a problem that has occurred (perhaps even this week!) in every Church and every home here at College Heights Baptist Church. 

Roommates struggle with it, husbands and wives struggle with it, so do parents and kids. You'll find it in the places we work, the schools we attend, and the communities in which we live because our problem exists in virtually every corner of our country and our world. And if it's not a problem for you today, it's likely to become your problem before this day or this week or certainly this month is over.

Our relationships suffer many times because of our wrong habits. We have a tendency to display these wrong habits in the relationships we build. And We can build a strong case that this is our problem from what the Apostle Paul wrote in Galatians 5 and Colossians 3. He pointed out 3 areas in which we tend to wreck relationships. 

First, we have studied the whole issue of selfish ambition about jealousy and envy and evil desires. 
Then the issue of anger and we have learned about such things as discord and malice and hatred and rage.
Then we have had our attention turned to sexual immorality with its categories such as impurity and lust. 
And if we have anything in common and you got the same understanding that I did, 
you probably came away with a greater understanding of 
your ability to make wrong choices. 

Where is the Hope? We came away with a greater understanding of our ability to make wrong choices. How's that for hope-filled preaching? 

Well, a critical part of becoming fully devoted followers of Christ is understanding who we are both with and without Christ. And use whatever words you want, but I was stirred and taught and convicted and convinced by the power of God's word these past 2 weeks as we began to talk about relationships. And I have seen some things that need to change. And that gives me hope.

A Question: 
So where do we go from here? How do we move beyond knowing a change is needed? 

Let me put it this way. How many of you have ever wanted to update your wardrobe? How many of you have ever needed to update your wardrobe? 
(flash a picture of a man in very outdated clothes on the screen. It is humorous.) 

Maybe it's been some time since you bought anything new and everything you wear seems to be hopelessly out-of-date. And in an attempt to make do with what you have, you try different things on and everything seems to clash with everything else. Your accessories don't match with your shoes or the two different greens just don't work with each other or you don't have the right belt or you can see that your collar is worn through. And, as a result, you'd like nothing more than to go through your whole closet and throw out the items of clothing you never want to wear again.

You know what's interesting? In Ephesians chapter 4, Paul uses the same picture of clothing and a wardrobe to illustrate a crucial principle about relationships. He writes that things like selfish ambition and anger and sexual immorality are nothing more than old clothes that need to be cleaned out of the closet of our lives. 

Essentially last week you were taught that we have a problem with our wardrobe. 
Scriptures were used to pull open the closet door, flip on the light, and force us to take a long, hard look at the clothes on the hangers. And we discovered that some of that clothing is a sight to behold. The old clothing that hangs in the closets of our lives is hopelessly out-to-date with our new lifestyle of following Christ. And that clothing clashes with the new clothes we are told to wear now. And, as a result, Paul tells us to clean the old clothing out of the closets of our lives.

So where do we go from here? 
The great thing about Ephesians chapter 4 is that we're told not only to clean out our closets; we're also told to choose a whole new wardrobe. 

God intends us to regularly open the closet door, flip on the light, take a hard look, clean out whatever clothing needs to go and then replace it with clothing that is fitting for who we are in Him. So today we're going to walk through how the Bible tells us to do this because God gives us a process for dealing with the problem of old clothing.

How do we deal with this problem? 
A 3 step process - (1) Own It (2) Admit It (3) Change It.

HOW TO CHOOSE A NEW WARDROBE

STEP #1: OWN IT - BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF ABOUT YOUR WARDROBE PROBLEM

The First Step: The first step necessary in choosing a new wardrobe is to own the problem - be honest with yourself about your wardrobe problem - own the fact that some things don't belong in your wardrobe, that they are hopelessly out of place.

¨ Illustration: From time to time….

1. Funeral: From time to time, I'm called upon to do a funeral for someone in our church or community who has had a friend or relative pass away. I usually wear a black suit jacket out of respect for those who have experienced loss. I never wear bright colored clothing - it would be out of place. And if I did, someone would tell me I have a problem with my wardrobe choices.

2. Exercise: From time to time, I call upon my body to participate in the practice of physical exercise. I wear athletic clothing - a pair of shorts, a tee-shirt, and a pair of running shoes. I never wear my black jacket - it would be out of place. And if I did, someone would tell me I have a problem with my wardrobe choices.

3. Football: I used to play football 5 or 6 months out of the year. And I would wear foot ball equipment - shin pads, shoulder pads, elbow pads, and a helmet. Not once did I wear shorts and tee-shirt on the field. It wouldn't be fitting and it would be out of place. And if I did, someone would tell me I have a problem with my wardrobe choices.

¨ Wardrobe Problem: Take a long, hard look at the clothing you and I wear in the relationships we have and from time to time, we recognize that we have a wardrobe problem. Take a look at what we taught from last week in Colossians 3 or Galatians 5.

1. Jealousy rises to the surface of your soul often.
2. You're envious of a co-worker for the gains she is making in your world.
3. When you're honest about it, you find your heart filled with hatred of a family member for what they said in a conversation so long ago.
4. You often get angry and "go off" and it used to be when you were all by yourself, but your temper is increasingly finding its way into your public life in the way you treat other people.
5. Lately you find yourself having secret thoughts about someone other than your spouse and you cannot stop feeding those thoughts with details you invent all on your own
6. YOU TAKE A LONG, HARD LOOK AT THE CLOTHING YOU WEAR IN THE RELATIONSHIPS YOU HAVE AND SOMEWHERE DEEP INSIDE YOU, SOMETHING TELLS YOU YOU HAVE A WARDROBE PROBLEM!

The Greatest Gift: And the greatest start you can make on choosing a new wardrobe is to own the fact that you have a wardrobe problem - own it!

Ephesians 4:17-20: Take a look at Ephesians 4:17. READ - 
(Eph 4:17 KJV) This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind,
(Eph 4:18 KJV) Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart:
(Eph 4:19 KJV) Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.
(Eph 4:20 KJV) But ye have not so learned Christ;

Paraphrase: Let me paraphrase it for you. Paul says, "Hey, I'm reminding you that you're not supposed to live the way you used to live. The way you used to live is totally different from how God wants you to live now. And if you continue to live that way, your problems will never end. In Christ, however, you were meant to live differently.

The Real Problem: 
You know what our real problem is? You know what it all comes down to? It all comes down to this - we're all human beings born with both a sinful nature and a natural leaning towards sin. 

We will choose to do wrong given the opportunity. Not every time, not in every situation, not with every person - but we are sinners who have a huge problem with sin. And the sooner we recognize our problem - that this ability to sin exists within us, the sooner we own it, the better off we are.

Illustration: I'm your pastor and I make mistakes. I'm human and I am sinful and have a natural leaning toward sin. And while God is at work and present in my life changing me, I make mistakes…..I err…..I mess up……I s-s-s-sin. 

And I have sinned against some of you - some intentionally and some unintentionally. And I trust I have dealt with each of those sins. (And if I haven't, come and see me!)

We all have a problem with sin and we need to begin by owning that problem. To change your wardrobe, begin by being honest with yourself and owning your problem. There are some clothes in your closet that simply need to go. They are out of place…they clash….They don't belong in your wardrobe. It's time to own it.

Step #2: Admit It - Be Honest With Others About Your Wardrobe Problem

The Second Step: Let's keep moving - the second step in choosing a new wardrobe is this: You must admit it - be honest with others about your wardrobe problem.

Illustration: A number of years ago, a businessman in Calgary decided he had a wardrobe problem. He felt like he had been wearing the same stuff everyday, over and over - thus he was sick and tired of his wardrobe. Many of his clothes had been purchased in the past year, but he felt he was stuck in a rut and needed something totally new. One day in his frustration, he reached for the phone and called a men's store in downtown Calgary and he explained his problem to the guy who answered the phone. They made an appointment to meet and in about a week, this businessman totally changed his wardrobe. He changed everything. New suits and ties and shoes and shirts, new casual clothing, the whole nine yards. In one fell swoop, he changed everything; there were new styles and colors, he changed it all. And it all began when a man with a wardrobe problem was honest with someone else about his wardrobe - someone who could help him change it. He knew where to turn to admit his problem and get help and when he did, it resulted in the change of an entire wardrobe.

Two Directions: The Bible speaks of our need to be honest and admit our wardrobe problem to others. And it speaks of a couple of directions we can turn for help. 
We are told to turn for help in 2 specific directions - one is vertical and one is horizontal:

1. Vertically - To God:

When it comes to admitting our sin, the first direction we need to turn is to God Himself. Turn over to First John chapter 1 to discover this direction.

The Bible teaches us, first of all, that we have the right, as children of God, to turn to God and honestly admit our wardrobe problem. 1st John 1:8 highlights this.

First John 1:8 - 2:2: (1 John 1:8 KJV) If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. (9  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (10) If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. (1 John 2:1) My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: (2 ) And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.

You Can Count on God: When we admit our sin and in this case, our wardrobe problem, to God, it is called "confession." And these verses teach us that God can be counted on to forgive; He has an unfailing ability to do what we often struggle with. And the apostle John, in writing these words, reminds us that forgiveness from God is closely tied to our confession of that sin.

Defining Confession: So what is confession? It's not talking about our sin. Phone-In Radio Confession Show. In the age of talk-shows and celebrities revealing their secret sins in their latest books, we must realize that blabbing our secrets is not the same as confessing our sins.

As one author once wrote, "Spilled beans do not a confession make." Confessing to God means more than that - it means owning up to our responsibility for the wrong we have done and pain we have caused God. It means telling Him we are wrong and asking for His forgiveness for the old clothes that appear in our wardrobe from time to time.

Stories of the Bible: Over and over again in the Bible, you'll understand that when it comes admitting our sin, God's people understood that the first place they needed to turn is to God. Read through the stories of the Bible and you'll find that when the personalities found in Scripture dealt with their sin, they first dealt with God:

Second Samuel 12:13: David has sinned against a woman named Bathsheba and God sent the prophet Nathan to talk with David. After David comes to a realization of his sin, his first words to Nathan are these: I have sinned against the Lord.

Psalm 51:4: David in talking to God and dealing with the sin he had committed with Bathsheba writes, 
"Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight."

Luke 15:18: Prodigal son says to his father, 
"I have sinned against heaven and against you."

Romans 3:23: The very nature of sin is that we fall short of God's expectations and desires for our lives.

Application: If this is hitting home for you, the first direction you need to turn and admit your wardrobe problem is God. Turn and talk to Him. Tell Him what you've done wrong and where you're doing wrong.

Confess it, own it, admit the wrong you've done and the pain you've caused.

2. Horizontally - To Someone Else

But there is a second direction in which we are told to turn for help - it is horizontally - there are 2 sides to this practice of admitting our sin to others:

1. To receive forgiveness - (James 5:16 KJV) Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

2. To be held accountable - Hebrews 10:24: And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:

Let us spur one another on to love and good deeds = to live the way we ought and have a wardrobe full of the appropriate clothing.

Bottom Line: We need to come clean on the old clothes in our wardrobe to others in our lives who either need to forgive us or will hold us accountable ……The Bible teaches us that this is no insignificant thing.

Openly admitting our sinfulness and brokenness in accountable relationships while reaching for wholeness and righteousness through Christ….Safe place where you don't have to be perfect and where you can make mistakes. (STEPS illustration.)

Bottom Line: We need each other and we need to be honest with each other when the wardrobe is all wrong.

Application: What Do You Do On This?

Step #1. If you have wronged someone, talk to them about it.

Step #2. If you need accountability, carefully choose someone or some two or some three people who can hold you accountable - someone who has proven themselves faithful, someone who will tell you the truth, someone will follow through and routinely ask - Gordon MacDonald example of how we need routine accountability.

Step #3: Change It - Take the Necessary Steps to Change Your Wardrobe

There is a 3rd step in this process of choosing a new wardrobe and it's this: Change it - take the necessary steps to change your wardrobe.

Old Saying: The clothes make the man. Because the clothes make the man, God reserves the right to choose our wardrobe. He doesn't just tell us to clean out the closet and leave us with nothing to wear. No, God's plan is to replace our old wardrobe with

Back to Ephesians 4:20-32:  But ye have not so learned Christ; (21) If so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus: (22) That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; (23) And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; (24) And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. (25) Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another. (26) Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: (27) Neither give place to the devil. (28) Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. (29) Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. (30) And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. (31) Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: (32) And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

The Clothing Exchange: God replaces the wrong clothing with the right clothing and when the right clothing is in place, the clothes make us. We trade in old clothes for new clothes:

Falsehood  we trade in for speaking the truth with each other.

Stealing we trade in honest work on behalf of others.

Unwholesome talk we trade in talk that builds up others.

Anger we trade in kindness and compassion towards each other.

Malice we trade in forgiving each other.

Hardest Part: This is the hardest part of this message to teach, because I think it involves the most difficult application - because changing our wardrobe does not work according to the Nike advertisement, Just Do It! It's just not that easy.

How to change is the big question?

1. You've begun by being honest with yourself and owning that there is a problem.

2. You've been honest with God by admitting and confessing your sin to Him.

3. You've become honest with someone else and admitted your need for some accountability to them.

4. Now it's time to live differently: In the everyday steps we take in everyday life we need to change the way we live every day. How?

#1 - The Word of God: Keep listening to what He says about the clothing you need to keep putting on. I am somewhat fashion challenged and over the years of being married to Vickie, I have learned to listen to her perspective because frankly, she's right. 

Recognize how utterly dependent you are on what God says about your wardrobe… Recognize that He is right. 
Let Him define the clothes you wear. 

The letters of Galatians and Ephesians and Philippians and Colossians as well as Romans 12-14 and the letter of James all give significant space to defining what our wardrobe ought to be. Read those letters, listen to what God says to you about your wardrobe. When something hits home, memorize that verse. Make it a part of your vocabulary and your thought process. Let God's perspective on wardrobes becomes yours.

#2 - Prayer: Besides listening to what God says, make it a practice to talk to Him about our wardrobe problem. Tell Him what you understand from His word. Tell Him when you struggle. Tell Him when you've got off-track. Keep in communication with Him on an on-going basis.

#3 - Practice: It is the responsibility of every Christian to carve out a satisfying life under the loving rule of God so sin won't look good. 

(CHECK LIST:) 

• 
  Check your daily habits, the places you go that get you in trouble….
• The situations you get into in your relationships where you again and again get caught in those three problem areas of selfish ambition, anger and sexual immorality….
• Only you can control where you go. 
• Begin to change it. 
• Choose a different wardrobe. 
• And keep putting it on again and again and again.
• Even when you sometimes choose the wrong clothing. 
• Never Give Up even if you have given in !
• (1 John 1:9 KJV) If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.